The Random Bolt
Fake automotive news that is nuts.
Contributors
Arthur the Gas Pedal
Once the literal driving force of every commute, Arthur claims he has been systematically replaced by a steering wheel button. "The driver and I were a team. Now? The second 'SET' is pressed on the steering wheel, and I'm dead to the world."
Bernice the Brake Pedal
"I only get tapped when there's an absolute emergency. Otherwise, the adaptive cruise control just slows us down automatically. It’s like we’re living in a ghost town down here. I haven't felt the warm embrace of a sneaker in three days."
Eddie Torr
Eddie’s spent 9 years turning 2000-word investigative masterpieces into 100-word listicles because "readers hate sentences." Fueled by coffee and panic, he hasn't approved an adjective since 2018. Motto: If it isn't urgent, make it urgent. Urgently.
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